Helpful Hints

Tips for Use
Suggested House Rules

Tips for Use

Family eJournal is a website that encourages parents and their children to share their thoughts and feelings. We understand that communicating this way is new for most people so we have listed several Tips for Use to help you get the most out of your Family eJournal experience.

• Treat all information learned through FEJ with respect.
  
• How you handle the information you learn will dictate the effectiveness of FEJ and, more importantly, the relationship you have with that individual.
  
• When you receive disturbing news, take time to think about how you want to react.

Storming into a teenager's room after learning they tried smoking for the first time is a sure-fire way to get them to never openly share again, on FEJ or face-to-face. Likewise, screaming at your parent because they planned a family activity for the same night you were hoping to spend with friends could quite easily put an end to both activities.

• If a topic originates in FEJ, it may be best to continue discussing it there. In doing so, users will be forced to organize their thoughts and will have the time to present them in a more constructive manner rather than speaking out of emotion and reaction.
  
• Proofread your work - you may find a way to express yourself more clearly or choose to rewrite the message with an entirely different tone.

In General

• Think of FEJ as a tool for expression rather than a chore.
  
• View FEJ as a way to vent your thoughts and feelings.
  
• Use FEJ as a means of self-discovery.
  
• Relish the fact that parents and teenagers are on equal ground and answer the same Daily Experience Worksheet question
  
• Lead by example. The more you share openly and honestly, the more likely others will do the same.
  
• Take the time to organize your thoughts before writing.
  
• Think hard about what other family members are writing and feeling before you respond.

If you have another tip that works well for your family, we’d love to hear about it and we may just add it to our list. Send your Tips for Use to feedback@familyejournal.com.

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Suggested House Rules

• Any topic addressed using FEJ should only be discussed using FEJ unless there is a risk of immediate danger. For example, if a teenager is contemplating smoking parents may want to find out what their motivation is rather than rushing into the teen’s room furious and barking orders.
  
  
• Do not punish a family member for being open and honest.
  
  
• Use FEJ to ask a family member if they would like to discuss a topic face-to-face before forcing a confrontation.
  
  
• Always treat a family member's thoughts and feelings as serious and sensitive even if you don't consider the problem or situation to be of any great concern. For example, if a parent is upset because the family has not had dinner together in several days the teen might suggest a different activity for the family since schedules do not allow for a family evening meal. This is an opportunity for the teen to empathize with the parent's need for closeness with loved ones even though the teen may not see the point or need.

If your family has a House Rule that works well, we’d love to hear about it and we may just add it to our list. Send your House Rule to feedback@familyejournal.com.

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